« July 2009 | Main | September 2009 »
August 30, 2009
One-Year Mark
Today marks the one-year anniversary of my brother Aaron's death in a jet ski accident on Lake Minnetonka near the Twin Cities in Minnesota. It's a very sad time for me and for my entire family (especially his wife Eve and their two kids, Gabriella and Mathias), as we remember Aaron's wonderful life and the impact he made in so many people's lives for Christ. (For the blog entry I wrote last September about his death, click here.)
As a bit of a tribute to Aaron, this morning at church I played his favorite hymn, "Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise" on the piano. I said a few words beforehand, and eventually made it through what I wanted to say. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it through, but I did. It was his favorite hymn because it spoke so clearly of the sovereignty of God, that in all things, no matter what happens, God is ultimately still in control. We may not always understand why God allows certain things to happen, but He is still sovereign.
This afternoon I looked through a photo album that Aaron's friend Todd put on facebook. I've posted that to my profile as well, and it brought many smiles and tears. I'm still not done sorting through all the photos that were recovered from my hard drive crash last October (a year and a half's worth of photos), but when I do I'll also make a tribute photo album and put it on my facebook profile.
And then tonight at PSCG Bible study, after the main study we sung "Immortal, Invisible," "It Is Well with My Soul" (both of which were sung at Aaron's funeral) and "Blessed Be Your Name" (which I remember being played right before the funeral as we closed Aaron's casket - "Lord, You give and take away / You give and take away / But my heart will choose to say / 'Lord, blessed be Your Name'"), followed by me showing this slideshow I made last year for his visitation and funeral:
After that there was a time of prayer for me and my whole family. I am grateful for the support that I have received from my friends over the last year. It means a lot.
Tears have been shed periodically over the past year as certain things brought Aaron to mind (such as on his birthday on 21 July), and many more tears were shed today on this sad anniversary. I miss you, Aaron.
Posted by Jared at 11:57 PM | Comments (0)
August 15, 2009
SCEFC Set List (16 Aug 2009)
I've been looking forward to this weekend for awhile, because Alex is coming down here for a visit!! He was originally supposed to be here yesterday, but for various reasons he was delayed until today. He's on his way from Michigan now, and should be here around 5pm. One of the things we're doing this weekend is coordinating worship together at E-Free. Over the course of a couple phone conversations last night and today, we came up with a set list that we want to do. And we'll have a full band too, with me on piano/keyboard, Alex on guitar/keyboard, Ben on guitar, Rick on bass, Mary Kay on flute, Lance on drums, and Mike & Sue on vocals. Should be a blast!
Prelude: O the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus - by Samuel Trevor Francis
I'll start this song a bit before 10:30, as a cue for the congregation to come in. With there being a baptism service later in the afternoon (Kerrie's getting baptized!!), I thought this old Welsh tune would help set the stage with all the water imagery in the lyrics. I love this hymn. I expect it'll be primarily me & Alex doing this one, with the rest of the band getting set up while we're playing.
Song #1: Come, Now Is the Time to Worship - by Brian Doerksen
A classic praise chorus with which to start off the service, I hope this will get the congregation in the right frame of mind, and realizing that we don't have to be perfect to worship God. We can come just as we are. The last stanza closes with the line, "Come, just as you are to worship, come just as you are before your God, come." That'll be a perfect segue into...
Song #2: Before the Throne of God Above - by William Bradbury and Charitie Bancroft
The first of a string of hymns we'll do, this hymn sings about how Christ is our Great High Priest, our Savior and our Redeemer. Blair introduced this song to E-Free a couple months ago, and I loved it. Like Blair did, we'll also include an additional chorus that the group Shane & Shane added in their version of this. To hear the version of the song we're doing (but in a lower key), click here. I'm thinking I might move over to the keyboard for this one.
Song #3: In Christ Alone - by Keith Getty and Stuart Townsend
Following on to the previous hymn, this modern hymn extols Christ as sufficient, through his birth, death and resurrection. It is truly through Christ alone that we are saved. Alex might jump over to the piano for this one, as there's an intro from the Newsboys song that he'd like to do. That might prove a bit complicated in the middle of the set though, we'll see how it goes tonight.
Song #4: Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing - by Robert Robinson and Margaret Clarkson
With this song we'll start pivoting toward the topic of the sermon, which is "Growing a Life-Changing Community." It's a prayer for God to bring us back to him, and to teach us to sing His praises. I also think the last line of the 3rd verse, "Here's my heart, O take and seal it; seal it for Thy courts above" is a great transition to the final song of the main set...
Song #5: Take My Life and Let It Be - by Chris Tomlin, Frances Havergal, Henri Abraham Cesar Malan, and Louie Giglio
This is Chris Tomlin's adaptation of an old hymn, with a completely different melody and rhythm. This hymn calls for God to take every aspect of our lives and shape them for His glory. Everything we have, including our hands, our intellect and our wealth, are gifts from God, and we should honor Him with all that we have. To do that takes a radical change in our lives, to realize that we are not the rulers of our own lives.
Closing Song: From the Inside Out - by Joel Houston
I think this will be a very good song to go out on following the sermon about growing a life-changing community. That can't happen unless our lives are changed and transformed. In order for that to happen, the Holy Spirit truly must consume us from the inside out. This is also one of the all-time favorite songs for both me & Alex. Alex will switch to electric guitar for this one.
Well, I should probably head over to the church and start taking care of some of the coordinator responsibilities, like making copies of the music and getting the lyrics typed up on the computer for the projector. Hopefully Alex doesn't take any more wrong turns, so that he can get here on time. :-) I'm excited about this set though, and to play with a full band and with Alex!!
Posted by Jared at 02:50 PM | Comments (0)
August 12, 2009
Hands Off My Health Care
A week or two ago I got a postcard in the mail from Senator Arlen Specter (D/opportunist - Pennsylvania), announcing that he would be hosting a town hall meeting up at The Penn Stater (a hotel/conference center just north of State College in Innovation Park) this morning at 8:30am. I've seen and read a lot of coverage about various town hall meetings around the country in the last couple weeks, about how the overwhelming majority of people who are showing up are angry and upset about the proposed health care reform legislation that is currently before Congress. I decided that I wanted to be a part of that grassroots movement and add my voice to the mix, though I wasn't planning to shout to show my extreme displeasure about the Obamacare bill.
I hoped that I would have the opportunity to ask Senator Specter a question. It would've been something like this: "Senator Specter, even if the federal government has constitutional authority to enact this legislation (which I don't think they do), and if Congress and President Obama are really so concerned with lowering costs in order to enable more people to receive and afford care, then why not emulate a plan that has been demonstrated to work? Earlier this decade the state of Texas enacted medical malpractice reform, putting a cap on damages that could be awarded in malpractice lawsuits. That in turn caused malpractice insurance for doctors to cost substantially less money, which led to lower costs for patients, both out-of-pocket and through their own insurance premiums. Costs were also reduced because the doctors were set free from the shackles of needing to practice defensive medicine and order unnecessary tests, just because they were afraid of being sued for millions of dollars. Thousands more doctors have flocked to Texas as well, because of the reduced costs and risks of practicing medicine in the state, and this has increased access to health care, especially in rural areas that previously were lacking doctors. The Texas plan works. Why is medical malpractice reform not even being considered in any of the plans being put forward by Congress or the President?"
Okay, so that's a bit of a long question, but that's what I wanted to ask. I figured plenty of other people would ask if Senator Specter would commit to enroll himself and his family in the public plan if it was so great for us plebes, or confront/inform Senator Specter about any number of the abominable provisions in the legislation.
So I left my apartment at 8am and drove up to the Penn Stater. Turns out that was wayyyy too late to have a chance to get in. I got in line, even though I figured I'd get turned away. There were lots and lots of people that showed up. About 400 people were allowed in, but the remaining approximately 1600 people (including myself) were turned away (1600 was the estimate by the State College PD; prior to reading that estimate, I guessed that about 1500 had been turned away). There were also quite a few people who drove in and turned right around and left when they saw the long line. The crowd was very civil and normal. There was only one guy who was really shouting anything on occasion. There were no swastikas, contrary to Speaker Nancy Pelosi's (D-California) asinine assertion. There were only a bunch of Americans there, representing wide swaths of society, including families, retirees, students, and average joes. And judging from the signs, shirts and stickers that people had, and from the conversations I had with people, the vast majority of the roughly 2,000 people who showed up this morning were completely opposed to the health care legislation. I'd put the percentage of people opposed at 80-90%. There definitely were some pro-Obama people there, but they were far outnumbered. Americans for Prosperity had a bus there with a petition drive to tell Congress, "Hands Off My Health Care!", which I signed. The petition table was *very* busy, and they even ran out of petitions. One of the more ridiculous comments I heard today was from some college-age student who walked up to the petition table and accused them of being funded by big oil. They petition workers just laughed. The kid kept on for awhile, insisting that they were. But even if "big oil" were funding the petition drive, so what? What difference would that make? Does "big oil" funding something taint it, while Greenpeace or some union funding something not taint it? Anyway, here are some pictures I took of the event today:
 |  |
 |  |
 |  |
 |  |
 |  |
 |  |
After hanging around awhile and talking to a few random people I even was interviewed by a female reporter from the Associated Press. The lady asked me what got me interested in this issue, what made me passionate enough about the issue to cause me to go out there at 8:30am on a weekday for an event, whether I was active politically or part of some activist organization, how I found out about the town hall meeting, what some of my concerns about the legislation were, and what my name, age and occupation were. I haven't yet found any news stories that quote me, but if you happen to find an AP story that does, please let me know! If I find any, I'll be sure to link it here. At any rate, here are links to coverage of the town hall by the Centre Daily Times (our local State College paper) and the AP that I've seen so far.
And in case you're curious about what's actually in the bill, here's a summary (with quotes) of some key points in the health care reform legislation by Duke University professor John David Lewis. Scary, scary stuff. This bill must be defeated.
Posted by Jared at 04:40 PM | Comments (1)
August 11, 2009
Comps - I Passed!
Wow am I ever glad that that's over. My presentation went well, but then the oral exam itself was pretty rough. I really was not happy with how I did in there. There was a lot of stuff I couldn't answer, and there were a lot of questions where I just couldn't understand or figure out what they were getting at or looking for. So they had to lead me on a whole bunch, practically giving me the answer before I figured out where they were going. I don't know if it was just nerves and psyching myself out or what, but I was struggling a lot during the grilling. That, and my entire committee thinks my proposed research plan is missing a piece of "original work" that would make it actually PhD-worthy. So I guess I need another eureka moment somewhere along the way between now and dissertating. After the oral exam while I was waiting out in the hall while my committee discussed their decision, I definitely had all sorts of thoughts that questioned whether I belonged, whether I truly wanted to get the PhD, or whether all this was really worth it. Yeah, I was getting pretty down on myself. My attitude was so beaten down that when they called me in to tell me "Congratulations, you have to take NWP [Numerical Weather Prediction] for credit, but you passed!" I said "Thanks" but didn't have too much of a reaction. I was too drained, exhausted and disillusioned to feel any relief that I'd passed. It definitely was not the mountaintop experience or huge lifting of a weight off my shoulders that I'd envisioned. Instead I felt very small and very aware of how little I actually knew. I mean, I knew I didn't know very much, but that doesn't make the the feeling of being exposed any more pleasant.
Later Friday evening, instead of going to bed at quarter after 10 (which I totally felt tired enough to do), I drove out to Jo Hays Vista south of Pine Grove Mills, and walked 20 minutes down Jackson Trail to where Isaac, David D, and David Z were camping for the night, making s'mores and shooting off Isaac's potato gun. Shooting the potato gun didn't make all my frustrations melt away, but it was still fun to fire it. :-) I didn't join them camping, instead I trekked back so that I could have a restful sleep in my own bed. And I must say, the little LED flashlight that I bought in that tiny hardware store in Pellston, Michigan, when I was visiting Alex earlier this summer works really well and is quite bright! Definitely worth the 5 bucks I paid for it. Without it there's no way I would've been able to find my way on that trail or avoid twisting an ankle on all the rock-strewn trail.
On Saturday I finally started feeling a bit more positive and a bit less self-loathing. I think a bit of relief and realization that I was done with comps was finally starting to creep into my mindset. I finally felt like I was able to go to the church to practice piano for a couple hours, just for fun. I think I've pretty much re-learned a couple songs I used to know way back in high school, a Joplin rag called "Pine Apple Rag," and I made good progress re-learning "The Rain Must Fall," a Yanni song that I played at my high school's talent show in 9th grade (which was instrumental -ha!- in my being given the nickname "Yanni" by everyone in high school, by the way). I even felt like I'd recovered enough from the exams to invite people out to supper at Home Delivery to celebrate a bit. About ten people came, which was fun.
I will say that it has been really nice the last couple days to be able to do whatever and not feel guilt that I wasn't studying. Like today at Walker I spent the day cleaning up my desk, which was piled rather high with stacks of papers, books, and random assortments of crap. I got the journal articles either put away in my three-ring binders where they should be, or put into a folder in my filing cabinet. Yes, three years after I moved into that office I finally started using the filing cabinet. And now I suddenly have a desk that's mostly clear. I'd almost forgotten what color it was. My desk in Walker hasn't been this clean since, oh, maybe 2 years ago? Maybe since when I moved into the office three years ago? Anyway, it's been a long time!
I wonder what else I'll do in the coming days to start to reclaim my freedom and my life in other areas...
Posted by Jared at 12:13 AM | Comments (2)
August 07, 2009
Oral Comps - This Afternoon
And the other day I've dreaded for months, but somewhat less so than my written comps, is here. I've spent much of this week looking up information so that I'll be able to answer the parts of the written exam that I know I screwed up or couldn't answer. Some of the info has eluded my discovery so far though, and that has me worried, because that means that I still don't have a good answer for one of the questions. So I'd be much less apprehensive about the oral exam this afternoon if I'd actually been able to find all the info I needed. I just hope that what I've done is enough for them to let me pass.
My research presentation (open to the public) will be today at 1:30pm in 529 Walker. I ran through my presentation for the first time last night, and it took me 52 minutes, but I'm going to try to trim that down a bit closer to 45 minutes if I can. So this'll be the longest presentation I've ever given in my life. My M.S. defense was only 30-35 minutes, I think, and my talk at the CBD conference in New Orleans last November was about 25 minutes. Then after my talk, the closed-door oral exam will happen. I have no idea how long the grilling will last, but I'm hopeful that I'll be done before 5pm.
I'm so close to freedom and having my life back, I can almost taste it...
Posted by Jared at 09:40 AM | Comments (0)
August 03, 2009
Written Comps - Done!
I meant to post something about this over the weekend, but didn't get around to it. My written comps are done! And I think they went really well!! They definitely went better than I was expecting or fearing they would go. I was pretty much fearing the worst, and was pleasantly surprised when I found that all the questions were pretty much doable (just like Sue told me they would be). There were two questions on which there were a fairly big number of details I either couldn't remember or flat-out didn't know, but I was still able to write enough stuff to fill up three pages and one page for those problems respectively. It took me a full eight hours (including a 40-minute lunch break to Subway) to do the five problems (okay, technically six, but one was a "10-minute" follow-up question of sorts), and I was pretty much writing the entire time; there was not much time spent staring at the desk. I took the whole exam with wet feet too, because it was pouring for my entire half-hour walk into campus in the morning, and also when I went to lunch. It was raining so hard that it didn't matter whether or not I had an umbrella, as my shoes were getting soaked from the raindrops splashing off the pavement all around me. My shoes didn't even dry out until the next morning!
But anyway, thank you to all of you who were praying for me or encouraged me. I really appreciate it. And most of all I'm thankful to God for making the exam itself go so smoothly, even though I was so stressed out leading up to it. Even though I still have my oral comps presentation and oral comps exam coming up on Friday, I feel like I'm past the hardest part. My attitude now is so much more positive than it was before the written exam, Alex and other people basically said it's like night and day in talking to me. I feel that night-and-day difference too. I'm even optimistic that my workload in prepping for the oral exam is manageable enough that I might not even have to spend any evenings doing work this week! Now that's a pretty incredible change! Today I put together a draft of my power point slides for my presentation (basically my GMU talk but with a much-beefed up intro and ending), and the next three days I should be able to focus primarily on looking up and learning the information that I didn't know on the written exam, so that I can have answers when they re-ask me during the oral exam.
Also in the stress-reducing department, I've now gotten my plans pretty much figured out for the rest of the month, like how/when I'm getting back to Wisconsin, but more on that in a later post. For now though, it's bedtime.
Oh, and Happy 23rd Birthday, Alex!
Posted by Jared at 11:49 PM | Comments (1)